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COUPLES AND INFIDELITY.
After the devastating disclosure of infidelity, intense emotions and recurrent crises are the norm. The good news, however, is that the majority of relationships not only survive infidelity, but overcome infidelity. Therapy based on overcoming affairs is loosely structured and guided by particular benchmarks. Choosing a therapist that specializes in healing from affairs is crucial for rebuilding.
** It is important to note that "affairs" can take many different forms: online affairs, emotional infidelity, to work place affairs.
Following the initial disclosure of an affair, it is common for both partners to experience depression, anxiety, and a profound sense of loss. Therapy for healing encompasses:
(1) Understanding that recovery happens in stages,
(2) Learning why the affair happened, to create a sense of closure so the couple can begin the healing process,
(3) Rebuilding trust so that the relationship can begin on a good foundation
(4) Learning empathy, to ensure that the hurt partner isn't hurt moving forward
(5) Finally forgiveness
In affair treatment the marriage counselor will help the couple clarifying the purpose of their treatment. After an affair, couples who want to rebuild their relationship need to address the circumstances of the affair. One partner may want to speak about it while the other believes it’s best not to. Either way, painful emotions will get activated inside and outside of the therapy room. The injured partner feels angry while the involved partner commonly struggles with feelings of shame and guilt.
Establishing and maintaining safety is a crucial part of treatment. Recovery cannot begin until contact with the affair partner is terminated. Stopping an affair does not just mean ending sexual intercourse. All personal discussions, coffee breaks and phone calls must also be stopped. When the affair partner is a co-worker, the contact must be strictly business, and necessary or unplanned encounters must be shared with the spouse in order to rebuild trust.
If you and your partner are going through recovery from infidelity, please give me a call at 631.692.9689, or email me at [email protected] for more information.
TO READ MORE PLEASE SEE THE ARTICLE “OVERVIEW OF INFIDELITY”